Mel Robbins calls herself the ‘villain’ of her own story and shares lessons from ‘rock bottom’

Mel Robbins has sold millions of books, built one of the world’s top podcasts, and promoted mantras for the goal-oriented and career-minded. But in an interview with “Meet the Press” that aired Sunday, the popular motivational speaker flipped the script, casting herself not as the hero of her story, but as the villain.

“I feel like I spent my whole life navigating every decision based on people’s moods or what was going to make somebody happy or somebody’s expectations,” Robbins told “Meet the Press” moderator Kristen Welker. “I chronically worried about what other people were thinking.”

This, she said, is what makes her the villain of her story, captured in the bestseller, “The Let Them Theory,” a guide that teaches readers to release the need to control others and instead focus on what they can control. Robbins blends personal anecdotes, psychological research and practical exercises to help readers create change.

The confession is a pivot from the polished success story that often surrounds Robbins, whose “5 Second Rule” and “Let Them” theory, along with her podcast “The Mel Robbins Podcast” have turned her into one of the most influential voices in personal development. Time Magazine has said she gives millions of listeners around the globe “a reason to believe in themselves.”

But by recasting herself as the antagonist, Robbins said, she hopes to give others permission to be honest about the messier parts of change.

Hitting ‘rock bottom’

Robbins’ “villain” framing is steeped in her own darkest period. In 2009, she was 41, unemployed and drowning in $800,000 of debt as her husband’s business collapsed. She described her heavy drinking and mornings filled with dread.

“I hadn’t opened my bills in six months. I hadn’t asked for help,” Robbins said. ”I hadn’t stopped drinking. I hadn’t looked for a job. I would wake up every morning and lay in bed like a human pot roast, feeling sorry for myself, staring at the ceiling going, ‘I hate my life. I hate my husband. I hate myself.'”

One night, she noticed a rocket launch on television and decided to try something different.

“OK, I know what I’m going to do,” Robbins said, recounting what she told herself that day. “Tomorrow morning I’m going to launch myself out of bed like a rocket.”

That countdown — five, four, three, two, one — became the basis for the “5 Second Rule,” a cognitive tool that Robbins credits with changing her life and that millions now use to fight procrastination and fear.

But Robbins emphasized that the method didn’t come from brilliance. It came from desperation and from being willing to admit she was failing at work, parenting and in her marriage.

‘Sharing my story’

Robbins, who became visibly emotional while reflecting on her work, said the biggest barrier people face is “discouragement.”

“If you can create a list today of all the things you could do to ruin your life, you can create a list of all the simple things you could do to improve it,” Robbins said.

Despite amassing a devoted following, Robbins has been criticized by some who question her qualifications. Robbins emphasized that she is not a therapist and therefore does not take on private clients.

“I’m sharing my story,” she said. “And I’m trying my best to distill the most complicated, amazing, exquisite research, the takeaways from the best minds on the planet, and make them something that any person can share with somebody else at a kitchen table.”

Robbins said one of the most meaningful aspects of her success is that it came later in her life.

“When you have an experience in your 40s where you almost lose everything that matters to you, you don’t forget that,” Robbins said. “I know what it feels like to have groceries scan, and I know that I don’t have money. … That is a moment that you never forget. And so, I am grateful that all of this happened later, because I have not forgotten what matters.”